I Don't Know if I am Divorced. How Do I Know if I am?

I don't know if I'm divorced.  I haven't seen my spouse in years.  Do I need to get divorced here?

I get asked this question all the time.  The only definitive way to know if you are divorced is to locate a decree or court order stating your divorced. However, not being able to find a decree doesn’t necessarily mean you’re still married. It may simply mean that your spouse didn’t divorce you in the state and county where you think she did. Determining your marital status if you don’t know where your husband or wife is, and if you can’t ask them, is a little like hunting for the needle in the haystack.

So what should you do?  Below I have listed five steps that can help you get on with your life.

Step 1

Contact the legal notice department of the newspaper that serves the area where you and your spouse last lived together. If your spouse couldn't find you, she may have gotten permission from the court to use constructive service instead. This usually means posting notice of her intention to divorce you in the newspaper. This is the only way your spouse could have divorced you without having you personally served with papers. Requesting a search through the paper's published notices for your name, may turn up the notice.

Step 2

Call the courthouse in the county and state where you last lived together. If you were lucky enough to find a divorce notice with the newspaper, this will lead you to the court in the correct county; the legal notice will include the court’s name. Ask the clerk to search computer records for your name. If your spouse did not follow through with the divorce after publishing notice, however, you might hit a dead end and find no record of a decree.

Step 3

Use the Internet to find out if the state where you last lived together offers a searchable docket database online. Some states, such as Arizona, provide this service. If your state does, you may be able do a search for just your name, but you may have to input a county as well. If you came up empty when you contacted the courthouse, cross that county off your list and try others.

Step 4

Contact your state’s department of vital records, if you strike out with the newspaper and the county court. Even if your state has no searchable docketing database online, its department of public records should have a copy of your divorce certificate, if you're divorced. This might not produce results, however, because most states will require not only your name and your spouse’s name to confirm a decree, but information that’s not available to you as well, such as your docket number and the date of your divorce.

Step 5

Try to find your spouse if you can’t find a decree. If you have information such as her Social Security number, date of birth and last known address, a private investigator may be able to find her for you. If you ever filed a tax return together, her/his Social Security number will be on it. Private investigators can search databases not available to the general public, so you might be able to locate her/his this way. If you do, you can ask her/his if she/he divorced you and get a copy of the decree.

Resources that may help you:

List of phone numbers for Arizona Clerks of the Court for each county

Arizona Vital Records

Arizona Private Investigators (Yellow Pages)



The experienced family and bankruptcy document prepares at Discount Divorce assists clients throughout Arizona, including the cities of Ahwatukee, Apache Junction, Avondale, Bisbee, Buckeye, Bullhead City, Camp Verde, Casa, Cottonwood, Douglas, Eloy, Grande, Carefree, Cave Creek, Chandler, El Mirage, Flagstaff, Florence, Fountain Hills, Gila Bend, Gilbert, Glendale, Globe, Goodyear, Gudalupe, Kingman, Lake Havasu City, Litchfield Park, Marana, Maricopa, Mesa, Nogales, Oro Valley, Paradise Valley, Payson, Peoria, Phoenix, Prescott, Prescott Valley, Queen Creek, Safford, San Luis, Scottsdale, Sierra Vista, South Tucson, Snow Flake, Sun City, Surprise, Tempe, Tolleson, Tucson, Waddell, Wickenburg, Winslow, Youngtown and Yuma.

Visit www.discountdivorcepro.com or call (602) 896-9020. Discount Divorce is located at 13817 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85023-6105.

As always you should seek legal advice for specific issues like the one above before coming to Discount Divorce to have your documents done and processed so that your legal rights may be protected.

Do I Need a Lawyer?

Do I need a professional to help me with my divorce? I get asked this questions a lot. In Arizona you are not required to be represented by an attorney in family court. However, keep in mind that you are expected to know the law and rules of the court so it may be a good idea to either hire an attorney or a low cost alternative such as a certified legal document preparer (CLDP) service like  Discount Divorce & Bankruptcy.

Discount Divorce & Bankruptcy always recommends that you should schedule a consultation.  The consultation will also give you a brief overview of the the family court process. After the consultation, you can then decide whether you will need an attorney or a CLDP serrvice like Discount Divorce & Bankruptcy.

I remember one time I had an individual come see me who had represented himself in his divorce. He agreed to take all the debt and in exchange he would receive all the personal property. He thought that “personal property” included his retirement accounts. It did not and he ended up with all the debt and still had to divide his retirement accounts with his ex. By the time he came to see me his divorce had been finalized for months and there was nothing anyone could do.

Here are a few general guidelines to consider when deciding whether you need a professional like Discount Divorce & Bankruptcy or not:

• Does the otherside have a professional helping them with their case?

If neither party is represented by an attorney, the judge may be somewhat more lenient on the rules of evidence and what he/she will allow in the courtroom. However, If one party is represented by an attorney or a CLDP service, the other party is usually doing a big disservice to his/her case to not hire Discount Divorce & Bankruptcy or an attorney. There are many deadlines in Court that if missed, can have a powerful effect on your case.

• Have you fully considered the long terms effects of your agreements?

Even if you and your spouse are amicable and agree on how to divide everything and/or share decision making, child custody and parenting time, I strongly recommend that you have a family law professional draw up your final documents for the court. Go over the agreement with an attorney so that you can make sure that you understand the implications of all of your agreements. For example, maybe you and your spouse are agreeing to split all the holidays with the children. While it may seem like that will not be a problem, what happens when it is Christmas Eve and you think it is your year to have the children? What will you have to show your ex that it should be your parenting time and what time your parenting time is supposed to start and end?  Discount Divorce & Bankruptcy understands this and can help you develop a Parenting Plan that you can be happy with.  This is just one of the many ways Discount Divorce & Bankruptcy helps its clients.

The experienced family and bankruptcy document prepares at Discount Divorce assists clients throughout Arizona, including the cities of Ahwatukee, Apache Junction, Avondale, Bisbee, Buckeye, Bullhead City, Camp Verde, Casa, Cottonwood, Douglas, Eloy, Grande, Carefree, Cave Creek, Chandler, El Mirage, Flagstaff, Florence, Fountain Hills, Gila Bend, Gilbert, Glendale, Globe, Goodyear, Gudalupe, Kingman, Lake Havasu City, Litchfield Park, Marana, Maricopa, Mesa, Nogales, Oro Valley, Paradise Valley, Payson, Peoria, Phoenix, Prescott, Prescott Valley, Queen Creek, Safford, San Luis, Scottsdale, Sierra Vista, South Tucson, Snow Flake, Sun City, Surprise, Tempe, Tolleson, Tucson, Waddell, Wickenburg, Winslow, Youngtown and Yuma.

Visit www.discountdivorcepro.com or call (602) 896-9020. Discount Divorce is located at 13817 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85023-6105.

As always you should seek legal advice for specific issues like the one above before coming to Discount Divorce to have your documents done and processed so that your legal rights may be protected.

Health Insurance Woes and Divorce

Health insurance woes always make the headlines, but it is easy for divorcing couples to forget that there are numerous other insurance changes to make, including to life, home and car.

Failing to make changes, including dropping your ex from a policy or getting your own insurance, can cause you to be overinsured, underinsured or not being insured at all. Here is what you need to consider:

1. Health insurance

You may be tempted to say nothing to your insurer and just keep your ex-spouse on your plan even after the divorce, but lawyer Iris M. Bass of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, says this could backfire.

"If there's a problem and your carrier finds out the ex shouldn't be covered, they can drop him or her because of insurance fraud," Bass says. "Do you really want to take that risk?"

A divorcing spouse will be eligible for COBRA - temporary coverage under the other spouse's plan, but at full cost - and maybe Medicaid - the federal program for the poor.

If there are minor children, couples must decide whose plan to put them on, and if they need to set up a rotation for sharing the cost of that coverage.

Once the U.S. Affordable Care Act is in full swing in 2014, individuals will be able to shop for insurance through new state-based Affordable Insurance Exchanges. But until then, the only other choice is the open market, which can be too expensive for a spouse who is self-employed, unemployed or in a low-paying job.

Right now, a single divorced person can expect to pay around $300 a month, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation.

2. Life insurance

Untangling life policies is not just a matter of changing beneficiaries, says Travis Snyder, an insurance agent with State Farm in Ashland, Ohio.

Often, a life insurance policy is owned by the primary breadwinner, with the spouse covered on an attached policy, or rider. But since the owner of the policy controls all decisions about it, including the naming of beneficiaries, the spouse would have to be released from the policy to change any details, or buy his or her own policy to name a different beneficiary, says Snyder.

Even though it would mean lower payments if, for instance, a husband dropped his wife from the policy, some spouses may feel that they will need extra income for childcare if the spouse dies. Or, says Snyder, it may just be a power play not to release a spouse.

Insurance coverage can be written into a divorce settlement - the laws in your state may dictate some of what you can or cannot do - and a spouse may be required to maintain life insurance for an ex to cover missing alimony payments.

Once the dust settles, it is important to make sure payments are made by the designated party and to re-evaluate needs. For instance, as your children reach adulthood, you might find that the benefits can be reduced.

Some spouses may find their life insurance needs increasing after a divorce. Lisa Davis, a 45-year-old stay-at-home mom in Providence, Rhode Island, now spends more for her coverage than her eventual ex-husband paid when they were under one roof. A $1 million life insurance policy, which will roll over into a trust if anything happens to her, is setting her back $1,000 a year. She also has a $1 million umbrella policy that costs her $130 a year.

Of course, a spouse should not forget other policies and paperwork as well - like 401k and workplace life insurance beneficiaries.

You may also want to remove your spouse as the key person on an advance healthcare directive. "If you're incapacitated, you don't want someone who doesn't like you deciding whether you should be left on life support," says Christie Alderman, vice president of Chubb Personal Insurance.

3. Auto insurance

Assuming the two cars you have previously had on one plan are now at two different residences, you and your ex need separate plans. As you would expect, you will see your individual rates drop considerably.

If you need help paying for your car insurance, it is best to get the money as part of an alimony package, says Snyder, who has seen some exes get taken off a policy without being told.
4. Home owner's insurance

This is easy to forget, but you should be able to reduce what you are paying, especially if your ex has taken half of your stuff. But if you are the spouse who has moved out and are now renting, you will want to look into a renter's policy, says Chubb's Alderman.

The average home insurance payment is between $45 and $75 per month, according to InsuranceProviders.com; renter's insurance could run between $15 and $30 monthly, according to the National Association of Insurance Commissioners.

The experienced family and bankruptcy document prepares at Discount Divorce assists clients throughout Arizona, including the cities of Ahwatukee, Apache Junction, Avondale, Bisbee, Buckeye, Bullhead City, Camp Verde, Casa, Cottonwood, Douglas, Eloy, Grande, Carefree, Cave Creek, Chandler, El Mirage, Flagstaff, Florence, Fountain Hills, Gila Bend, Gilbert, Glendale, Globe, Goodyear, Gudalupe, Kingman, Lake Havasu City, Litchfield Park, Marana, Maricopa, Mesa, Nogales, Oro Valley, Paradise Valley, Payson, Peoria, Phoenix, Prescott, Prescott Valley, Queen Creek, Safford, San Luis, Scottsdale, Sierra Vista, South Tucson, Snow Flake, Sun City, Surprise, Tempe, Tolleson, Tucson, Waddell, Wickenburg, Winslow, Youngtown and Yuma.

Visit www.discountdivorcepro.com or call (602) 896-9020. Discount Divorce is located at 13817 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85023-6105.

As always you should seek legal advice for specific issues like the one above before coming to Discount Divorce to have your documents done and processed so that your legal rights may be protected.

Bankruptcy; Keep or Surrender My Car

After filing bankruptcy, is it more beneficial to get a new car loan (not new car) versus reaffirming the one you presently have?

This is a very common question I get from many of my clients when considering the filingof a chapter 7 bankruptcy.  While one should always seek legal advice from a qualified attorney about specific questions, generally speaking the type of car and the payment should be the key determining factors. Owning a Honda, Toyota or Kia with high mileage is a better decision than keeping a luxury car or a car with the high likelihood of pending repairs.

Some experts believe that your car payment should be in the $200 to $300 range. More valuable cars usually mean higher car registration costs, insurance and repair costs. After bankruptcy, you should try to decrease your monthly expenses. And keeping a high payment, high balance car loan will increase your chances of falling back into financial turmoil.

 

This analysis applies mainly to people filing a Chapter 7 bankruptcy case. The law is comparable in Chapter 13 cases and there are other issues to address beyond the scope of this post.

 

You have three options available after you have filed your Chapter 7 bankruptcy case.

 

1. Surrender the vehicle. Contact the lender and say that you want to turn in the car. Make sure to make your auto insurance payments until you drop the car off at the local dealer. Get something in writing to prove you surrendered the vehicle. Don't compound your financial troubles with a post-bankruptcy filing car accident. That debt will not be dischargeable in your bankruptcy if it occurs after the filing.

 

Once you surrender the vehicle, the lender will sell it, usually for less than the amount you owe. The remaining balance, called the "deficiency balance," should be eliminated in your bankruptcy.

 

Sometimes, you should turn the car in right away. However, most people need a car to get to work or pick up the kids from sports. Used car lots might not be willing to sell you a car while you are still in bankruptcy. Trying to line up a new(er) car after filing can be frustrating; but you will be able to find a used, reliable car after your case is closed.

 

2. Reaffirm your current car loan. Most lenders will give you the choice to reaffirm your current car loan or surrender the vehicle. Reaffirming a loan means that if you fail to make payments after your bankruptcy is closed, and the lender repossesses the vehicle, you can be sued for the deficiency balance. However, to keep receiving statements and balance updates, lenders require you to reaffirm the debt.

 

Unfortunately, some clients have told me that some lenders do not report the reaffirmed loan to the credit bureaus after completing the court-approved reaffirmation agreement. You ought to ask whether your lender will report your post-bankruptcy payments because this is one way you can start to rebuild your credit.

 

In some cases, when the car balance is very low, you can keep the vehicle, continue making payments and not have to reaffirm the loan. You will not receive monthly statements, so it will be up to you to call the lender and determine when the balance is paid off.

 

3. Redeem your car loan with a new lender. Bankruptcy law permits a car owner to reduce the current car balance to the fair market value. For example, if you owe $15,000 and the car is worth only $10,000, then you may be eligible to reduce the car balance by $5,000 with a new, post-bankruptcy loan. The code section is 722 Redemption. However, the current understanding in the bankruptcy community is that you must own the car for at least 910 days before filing bankruptcy to qualify for a car redemption loan.

 

Recently, I read an article about an attroney that had a conversation with an in-house counsel at a large car loan redemption company. This company works out deals with you and a new lender to refinance your car post-bankruptcy. I was told that the 910-day rule is not regularly enforced by the original car lender.

 

Meaning, you can qualify for a new car loan with a balance at the current fair market value even if you bought it one day before filing bankruptcy! The original lender can object to your attempt to strip down the balance, pay off a portion of the loan and eliminate the deficiency. However, very few lenders have been objecting. You may be able to keep your current car, reduce the balance and get a new loan that will report your new payment history to the credit bureaus.

 

The experienced family and bankruptcy document prepares at Discount Divorce assists clients throughout Arizona, including the cities of Ahwatukee, Apache Junction, Avondale, Bisbee, Buckeye, Bullhead City, Camp Verde, Casa, Cottonwood, Douglas, Eloy, Grande, Carefree, Cave Creek, Chandler, El Mirage, Flagstaff, Florence, Fountain Hills, Gila Bend, Gilbert, Glendale, Globe, Goodyear, Gudalupe, Kingman, Lake Havasu City, Litchfield Park, Marana, Maricopa, Mesa, Nogales, Oro Valley, Paradise Valley, Payson, Peoria, Phoenix, Prescott, Prescott Valley, Queen Creek, Safford, San Luis, Scottsdale, Sierra Vista, South Tucson, Snow Flake, Sun City, Surprise, Tempe, Tolleson, Tucson, Waddell, Wickenburg, Winslow, Youngtown and Yuma.

Visit www.discountdivorcepro.com or call (602) 896-9020. Discount Divorce is located at 13817 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85023-6105.

As always you should seek legal advice for specific issues like the one above before coming to Discount Divorce to have your documents done and processed so that your legal rights may be protected.

Domestic Violence is All Too Common

Domestic violence is all too common. In Arizona, victims of domestic violence may petition a judge and in some cases the police directly for an order of protection for themselves and their dependents. The process is simple, an order is often granted, and, when granted, the order is typically good for one year, although it is not effective until served on the defendant. The defendant may request a hearing to challenge the order. It is very important to include certain information when petitioning for an order of protection so it is best to speak with an experienced attorney. An order of protection is often obtained around the same time the couple is going through a divorce, paternity action, or bankruptcy. The defendant might also be charged with a crime as a result of the domestic violence.

Three states (Idaho, Indiana, and Montana) now issue ID cards for victims of domestic violence, which allows them to easily provide police information regarding themselves, the abuser, and the orders. Arizona has not yet passed such a law, and until it does, it is a good idea for anyone with an order of protection (and for that matter custody orders as well) to carry two copies of their orders at all times. The penalties for violating an Order of Protection are severe, and there is even a federal law that permanently strips gun rights from anyone convicted of a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence.

The experienced family document prepares at Discount Divorce assists clients throughout Arizona, including the cities of Ahwatukee, Avondale, Buckeye, Chandler, El Mirage, Flagstaff, Gilbert, Glendale, Goodyear, Mesa, Peoria, Phoenix, Scottsdale, Sun City, Surprise, Tempe, Tolleson, Tucson and Youngtown.

Visit www.discountdivorcepro.com or call (602) 896-9020. Discount Divorce is located at 13817 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85023-6105.

As always you should seek legal advice for specific issues like the one above before coming to Discount Divorce to have your documents done and processed so that your legal rights may be protected.

Ten Steps for Telling Your Children about Divorce

There are few harder moments in parenthood than telling your kids that it's over between mommy and daddy.

As a divorce attorney, I have seen hundreds of families struggle over how to break this news to their children. The process should involve calculated timing by the parents, a scripted statement explaining why it happened and a sketch of what is going to happen to the family in the future.

There is no use trying to avoid the issue: this part of the process is far worse than when you told your spouse that you wanted a divorce, mostly because the recipient of this pain is a child.

I would caution divorcing parents to be very careful about how they talk to their children about the "D" word. You might be sick and tired of your spouse, but you need to remember that you will be co-parents after the divorce. There will be dance recitals, football games, graduations and even marriages to attend. For the sake of your children, work together to share the news of your divorce with them.

You could do irreparable damage to your children if you break the news to them without your spouse by your side. I have seen many couples attempt to use "the announcement" as a way to shift blame onto the other party. This often backfires, and many times traumatizes the children unnecessarily.
The way that a message is packaged sets the trajectory for how that message is received. Think before you speak. Remember your audience. Don't use adult words or a message of blame or abandonment. Remember these simple tenants prior to blurting out, "your Dad is leaving Mom and is going to live with his f***ing girlfriend" or, "Mom doesn't love you enough to try to make this marriage work."

The following ten items outline a course for telling the kids in the least painful way possible.

Before you break the news...
1. Consult a child or family therapist together with your soon-to-be-ex to process the messaging.
2. Work together to write a script for the conversation with your child(ren).
3. Pick a time and place that is safe and that does not involve friends or relatives. Avoid conflict with important dates or deadlines i.e., child's birthday or right before a big test.

During your discussion...
4. In your discussion, focus on the positives -- that the child has two people who love her so much that they both want special time with her.
5. Focus on how things at home are going to stay as similar as possible.
6. Tell the child that it is not their fault -- that mommy and daddy are just their best selves in two different houses, and that this will be the best way for them to do the best job loving her.
7. Do not blame. Make it appear as a joint decision.
8. Expect tears. You are not being mean; you are not kicking a puppy. Rather, you are being honest -- and honesty can hurt.

After the discussion...
9. Expect more questions after your initial announcement. Answer them honestly but be mindful of the advice above (especially number 6 and number 7).
10. Avoid creating a sense of abandonment. If at all possible, try staying in the same home as your spouse on the night or day that you tell your child. Additionally, try scheduling a family dinner with the children and the other spouse at the new place once they have settled in.
 
Above all, put your child first.

Remember: you can love your kids or hate your spouse... but you cannot do both.

by Natalie Gregg

The experienced family document prepares at Discount Divorce assists clients throughout Arizona, including the cities of Ahwatukee, Avondale, Buckeye, Chandler, El Mirage, Flagstaff, Gilbert, Glendale, Goodyear, Mesa, Peoria, Phoenix, Scottsdale, Sun City, Surprise, Tempe, Tolleson, Tucson and Youngtown.

Visit www.discountdivorcepro.com or call (602) 896-9020. Discount Divorce is located at 13817 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85023-6105.

As always you should seek legal advice for specific issues like the one above before coming to Discount Divorce to have your documents done and processed so that your legal rights may be protected.

Contempt of a Court Order

There is a lot of confusion about how or when someone is in contempt of a court order.

Arizona Rules of Family Law Procedure, (“ARFLP”) outline civil contempt and sanctions for non-compliance with Court Orders.

Pursuant to ARFLP, the use of civil contempt shall be limited to compelling compliance with a court order or compensating a person for losses sustained as a result of the non-complying parties failure to comply with an Order from the Court. Therefore, one should have the understanding that contempt sanctions in a family court setting in Arizona are not intended to punish an offending party or to vindicate the authority of the court, as these sanctions are criminal by nature.

With this said, in certain actions of contempt may permit the arrest of individual in Arizona even though the issue at hand is domestic. For instance, Title 25 of the Arizona Revised Statutes outlines in detail that arrest and incarceration is an appropriate sanction in specific situations dealing with nonpayment of child support.

If an Order has been previously entered in your domestic relations matter and the same has or continues to be violated by the opposing party, you must commence your contempt action by filing a motion with the Court that recites the essential facts alleged to be contemptuous.

Discount Divorce and Bankruptcy is very experianceed at preparing, filing and serving Contempt Motions.

After a motion for contempt has been filed, the Court will issue an Order to Appear, mandating the appearance of the alleged offending party at a date and time scheduled by the Court. The motion and Order to Appear must by personally served upon the alleged contemnor.

Depending on the circumstances, there are many options for holding a party accountable when he or she is not living up to the terms of a divorce decree or court order. These options include:
Holding the ex-spouse in contempt of court

• Seizing bank account assets
• Garnishing wages in child support enforcement
• Loss of driving privileges
• Change of visitation rights and support orders

The experienced family document prepares at Discount Divorce assists clients throughout Arizona, including the cities of Ahwatukee, Avondale, Buckeye, Chandler, El Mirage, Flagstaff, Gilbert, Glendale, Goodyear, Mesa, Peoria, Phoenix, Scottsdale, Sun City, Surprise, Tempe, Tolleson, Tucson and Youngtown.

Visit www.discountdivorcepro.com or call (602) 896-9020. Discount Divorce is located at 13817 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85023-6105.

As always you should seek legal advice for specific issues like the one above before coming to Discount Divorce to have your documents done and processed so that your legal rights may be protected.