Divorcing Later in Life

Divorcing later in life is becoming more widespread. Researchers attribute the growth in the "grey" divorce rate to a number of factors, including a steady rise in life expectancy, women’s growing financial independence and changing cultural values .

Of course, women divorcing after many years of marriage have unique financial concerns, and the stakes can be high. While both spouses in a grey divorce experience a drop in net worth, women often find themselves struggling to pay their bills afterwards, while many men are more likely to bounce back, financially.

Whether your divorce exemplifies a growing trend in today’s society, arises from more conventional circumstances, or even goes against the grain entirely, it’s important that you get legal advice before proceeding. After speaking with a professional on the best way to proceed call us for professional legal document preparation and case management.

For more information call Discount Divorce & Bankruptcy for a FREE consultation.

The experienced family and bankruptcy document prepares at Discount Divorce assists clients throughout Arizona, including the cities of Ahwatukee, Anthem, Apache Junction, Avondale, Bisbee, Buckeye, Bullhead City, Camp Verde, Casa, Cottonwood, Douglas, Eloy, Grande, Carefree, Cave Creek, Chandler, El Mirage, Flagstaff, Florence, Fountain Hills, Gila Bend, Gilbert, Glendale, Globe, Goodyear, Gudalupe, Kingman, Lake Havasu City, Litchfield Park, Marana, Maricopa, Mesa, Nogales, Oro Valley, Paradise Valley, Payson, Peoria, Phoenix, Prescott, Prescott Valley, Queen Creek, Safford, San Luis, Scottsdale, Sierra Vista, South Tucson, Snow Flake, Sun City, Sun City West, Surprise, Tempe, Tolleson, Tucson, Waddell, Wickenburg, Winslow, Youngtown and Yuma.

Visit www.discountdivorcepro.com or call  (602) 896-9020 . Discount Divorce is located at 13817 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85023-6105.

Email: DiscountDivorce@msn.com

As always you should seek legal advice for specific issues like the one above before coming to Discount Divorce to have your documents done and processed so that your legal rights may be protected.

Most of the time, it’s the woman who initiates divorce.

So who initiates divorce most of the time, men or women?  A Forbes contributor writes:

Many people are surprised to learn that about 2/3 of divorces are filed for by the wife. That number climbs even higher among women who have more economic independence and social acceptance of the choice.
Based on my professional experience, my take on this trend is that even though a man may engage in activities that take a toll on the marriage, he’s usually not inclined to end it himself. By contrast, I’ve seen many women put up with a range of destructive behavior — cheating, drug or alcohol addiction, gambling, emotional or physical abuse, narcissism, or any number of things – until they just can’t take it any more, or until they see that their children are being irreparably affected by it. At that point, they initiate divorce proceedings.

In my practice the Forbes' study matches what we see as well, that women initiate the filing of divorce 2 out of 3 times. This has been the case for us since 1998.  The lesson here is for the men.  If you think your wife will put up with poor behavior indefinitely then your are in for a surprise.

For more information call Discount Divorce & Bankruptcy for a FREE consultation.

The experienced family and bankruptcy document prepares at Discount Divorce assists clients throughout Arizona, including the cities of Ahwatukee, Anthem, Apache Junction, Avondale, Bisbee, Buckeye, Bullhead City, Camp Verde, Casa, Cottonwood, Douglas, Eloy, Grande, Carefree, Cave Creek, Chandler, El Mirage, Flagstaff, Florence, Fountain Hills, Gila Bend, Gilbert, Glendale, Globe, Goodyear, Gudalupe, Kingman, Lake Havasu City, Litchfield Park, Marana, Maricopa, Mesa, Nogales, Oro Valley, Paradise Valley, Payson, Peoria, Phoenix, Prescott, Prescott Valley, Queen Creek, Safford, San Luis, Scottsdale, Sierra Vista, South Tucson, Snow Flake, Sun City, Sun City West, Surprise, Tempe, Tolleson, Tucson, Waddell, Wickenburg, Winslow, Youngtown and Yuma.

Visit www.discountdivorcepro.com or call  (602) 896-9020 . Discount Divorce is located at 13817 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85023-6105.

Email: DiscountDivorce@msn.com

As always you should seek legal advice for specific issues like the one above before coming to Discount Divorce to have your documents done and processed so that your legal rights may be protected.

Who Gets the Family Pet in a Divorce

When couples call it quits, the question of who gets the family’s pet can be very difficult to resolve  because judges are not going to make determinations on issues like pet visitation and pet support. That can be a hard pill to swallow for some people.  I get it, I have a dog, a cat, a bird and some fish.  Like most people I love animals and it is painful to loose them but pets are property in the eyes of the law. Pets are no different from any other piece of property like a chair or a table.  Judges will not take the time in their busy schedule to hear arguments over something as insignificant as a dog.  I know that sounds harsh but that is the long and short of it.

Now if your animal is very valuable such as a show-horse or a dog bred for competition judges will make a determination regarding who will be awarded this type of pet.  They make that decision based on factors such as who originally acquired the animal or who will provide the more stable home.

I think a lot times pet owners are better served if they can reach an agreement that they can both live with concerning their pets prior to filing for divorce.  As with all cases if it goes to trial there are three ways a case can be resolved; your way, your spouse's way, and the judge's way.  Two out of three are not your way so compromise is a good policy in the end with regards to your pet or any other issue in a divorce proceeding.

For more information call Discount Divorce & Bankruptcy for a FREE consultation.

The experienced family and bankruptcy document prepares at Discount Divorce assists clients throughout Arizona, including the cities of Ahwatukee, Anthem, Apache Junction, Avondale, Bisbee, Buckeye, Bullhead City, Camp Verde, Casa, Cottonwood, Douglas, Eloy, Grande, Carefree, Cave Creek, Chandler, El Mirage, Flagstaff, Florence, Fountain Hills, Gila Bend, Gilbert, Glendale, Globe, Goodyear, Gudalupe, Kingman, Lake Havasu City, Litchfield Park, Marana, Maricopa, Mesa, Nogales, Oro Valley, Paradise Valley, Payson, Peoria, Phoenix, Prescott, Prescott Valley, Queen Creek, Safford, San Luis, Scottsdale, Sierra Vista, South Tucson, Snow Flake, Sun City, Sun City West, Surprise, Tempe, Tolleson, Tucson, Waddell, Wickenburg, Winslow, Youngtown and Yuma.

Visit www.discountdivorcepro.com or call (602) 896-9020. Discount Divorce is located at 13817 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85023-6105.

Email: DiscountDivorce@msn.com

As always you should seek legal advice for specific issues like the one above before coming to Discount Divorce to have your documents done and processed so that your legal rights may be protected.

Are Student Loans Considered Community Property

Today's Americans owe nearly $1 trillion dollars in student loan debt. As of 2010, student loans have even surpassed credit card debt. Since student loans are so common, many people wonder how it is divided in a divorce.

Arizona is a community property state. Community property is virtually all property acquired during the marriage, and also includes all debt. There are some exceptions, such as inheritance or property acquired before the marriage. When a couple divorces, the value of the community property is typically divided between the parties. This does not usually require that everything be liquidated – for examples, it often means one party takes a retirement account, while the other party takes equity in a home, if that would be equally valuable to each party.

The general rule is that student loan debt, if incurred during the marriage, is a community debt. Especially in cases where one spouse will receive most of the benefit of the education through increased income, this result would seem unfair. There are controlling Arizona cases however that provide some exceptions, depending on the situation. The court will look to factors such as the timing of the divorce relative to the schooling, whether the couple had an agreement, whether the couple has other substantial assets, whether the marital community benefited from the education, and the increase in income caused by the education. Because this depends on the facts of the case, there is no bright line for how the court may allocate the student loan debt.

For more information call Discount Divorce & Bankruptcy for a FREE consultation.

The experienced family and bankruptcy document prepares at Discount Divorce assists clients throughout Arizona, including the cities of Ahwatukee, Anthem, Apache Junction, Avondale, Bisbee, Buckeye, Bullhead City, Camp Verde, Casa, Cottonwood, Douglas, Eloy, Grande, Carefree, Cave Creek, Chandler, El Mirage, Flagstaff, Florence, Fountain Hills, Gila Bend, Gilbert, Glendale, Globe, Goodyear, Gudalupe, Kingman, Lake Havasu City, Litchfield Park, Marana, Maricopa, Mesa, Nogales, Oro Valley, Paradise Valley, Payson, Peoria, Phoenix, Prescott, Prescott Valley, Queen Creek, Safford, San Luis, Scottsdale, Sierra Vista, South Tucson, Snow Flake, Sun City, Sun City West, Surprise, Tempe, Tolleson, Tucson, Waddell, Wickenburg, Winslow, Youngtown and Yuma.

Visit www.discountdivorcepro.com or call (602) 896-9020. Discount Divorce is located at 13817 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85023-6105.

Email: DiscountDivorce@msn.com

As always you should seek legal advice for specific issues like the one above before coming to Discount Divorce to have your documents done and processed so that your legal rights may be protected.

Bad Behavior Makes for Large Bill

Wife appealed from a trial court order requiring her to pay $552,000 as sanctions and fees to her former husband with respect to two post-dissolution matters. However, she found that her endless and reckless pursuit to achieve her desired result was not a view shared by the Court of Appeals.

At trial, Wife had assets of at least $6 million, though Husband claimed that she had over $30 million in assets. Wife’s ‘war’ on Husband, included not following the court's orders, not appearing in court, and failing to even accept the court's authority to make orders. The Court found her conduct “reckless”, saying that Husband had met his burden of showing that Wife dilatory and uncooperative conduct frustrated the policy of the law to promote settlement of litigation and cooperation among litigants. Further, the Court of Appeals stated that portions of the litigation lacked any legitimate legal basis.

The Court of Appeals affirmed the trial court’s orders. In fact, additional sanctions of $15,000 were imposed against the Wife and $10,000 against her appellate counsel on a finding that the appeal was frivolous.

In re Marriage of Wahl and Perkins
California Courts of Appeal, Sixth District
Case Number: H035712
Date Filed: February 2, 2012

How Parents are Using Child Obesity as a Weapon in Divorces

I was reading the County Bar Associations newsletter and came accross this interesting article that was writen by Tamara Abraham that I found very interesting and would like to share.

Family lawyers have revealed how child obesity is increasingly being used as an argument in divorce court custody battles.

They say separating parents in the U.S. are now regularly accusing one another of allowing children to eat too much junk food, and not encouraging them to do enough exercise.

Risk of bullying and obesity-related diseases, such as diabetes, are often cited as reasons children should live with one parent rather than the other.

Douglas Gardner, a family lawyer in Arizona, told the Wall Street Journal: 'It's come up quite a bit in the last couple of years. 'Typically, one parent is accusing the other of putting a child at risk of developing diabetes or heart disease - or saying that the child is miserable because he's getting made fun of at school.'

While evidence and outcomes vary dramatically, it marks a shift in the nature of arguments employed in custody battles. Jeff Wittenbrink, a family law specialist in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, added: 'It used to be constantly and consistently about smoking. It's only been recently where one parent thinks their kid's not active enough, is gaining weight and eating sugary food.' In a survey by TotalAttourneys.com, lawyers said that the subject was becoming a bigger issue in custody battles because the public is becoming more conscious than ever of the health risks associated with obesity.

'If all things are equal but one person only feeds fatty foods and the children have weight problems... it can become an important distinguishing factor'.

Indeed, the trend follows a series of high-profile cases and debates surrounding the subject.

In 2009, a 555 pound teenage boy in South Carolina was taken into state custody after his mother was arrested and charged with criminal neglect. And just this summer, Boston obesity expert David Ludwig sparked controversy when he wrote in an article that 'in severe cases of childhood obesity, removal from the home may be justifiable.'

But, legal experts warn, the obesity argument is only likely to have impact in severe cases. Chicago lawyer Jonathan Merel explained: 'If one side is scratching to find something wrong with the other person, the courts might not give it the same weight. 'If all things are equal but one person only feeds fatty foods and the children have weight problems, I think it can become an important distinguishing factor.'

Custody Battles: Children in the Vortex

The maelstrom of conflict between parents in a divorce or custody battle often catches up the children and dashes them against the same rocks that brought the marriage to destruction.

Even the mildest custody conflict can damage children and their relationships with one or both parents, but the injury can be severe when the conflict is intense and where one or both parties bring the children into the vortex.

Judge Larry Primeaux, Chancery Court, 12th District of Mississippi has some great advice for parents. He says:


1. A custody dispute is not about winning or losing. Custody is decided on the basis of what is in the best interest of the children. No matter what the judge decides, his or her decision will be based on what is best for the children. Help your client understand [the relevant factors], how they apply in her case, and how to maximize her strong points while minimizing her exposure on the weak points.

2. Hate and revenge do not help. If your client’s motivation for custody is hate and/or revenge, he will be operating under a considerable disadvantage because (1) those are not positive factors under Albright for custody, and (2) they communicate to the children that they are spoils of war to be won instead of children who are to be loved no matter what the controversy is between the parents.

3. Never allow the children to make the custody decision. Children do not know what is best for them. They are subject to all sorts of influences, the strongest of which appeal to what they believe they want. It is appropriate to ask a mature child’s opinion, but only as input, never as a final decision. The parent or lawyer who tells a child “You will get to decide when you reach x age” is doing the child a great disservice because the law never gives the child a right to finally decide; that decision is always up to the judge.

Children who are made to decide often feel that they have betrayed one parent or the other. Making a child decide is putting the child squarely in the middle of the conflict.

4. Children who are placed in the middle learn to manipulate. Parents who put their children in the middle usually find that the children become master manipulators, playing both sides against each other to gain whatever it is that the child wants or thinks he wants.

5. Putting the children in the middle complicates the case. When the parties put the children in the middle, the resulting conflict spawns contempt proceedings, modifications, more discovery about all kinds of peripheral matters, and adds expense, stress, conflict and injured relationships to everyone’s plates.

6. Drop the drama. The only enjoyable thing about a divorce or custody battle for most people is the attention and sympathy they derive from others over the suffering and pain they have to endure. So when they find their friends’ and family’s attention wandering, they will ramp up the drama to regain the spotlight. That’s self-defeating because it usually takes some kind of negative action to stimulate the other side into conflict. The best and most productive policy is to drop the drama and act like an adult and a caring parent.

7. Act like an adult. The best behavior you can model for your children is to act like an adult. Treat the other party with the respect he or she deserves as parent of your child.

Eschew juvenile name-calling. Turn your back on invitations to argue. Avoid sarcasm and profanity. No threats, veiled or otherwise. Your children are watching and learning from your every move.

Do I need a Process Server?

In most Arizona family law cases you must prove to the court that the other party has been given their copy of the legal documents you filed. The faster you can have this proof filed with the court the better. Most family law cases must be completed within 120 days or the court will dismiss the case for "lack of prosecution".

With that being said typically most cases do not need to involve a process server if the other party is willing to sign that they received a copy of the legal documents. If the other party for example signs an "Acceptance of Service" then that can be used as proof of service. Discount Divorce provides the Acceptance of Service in all cases at no additional charge.

However, if the other party proves to be difficult or uncooperative then one alternative is have them severed by a process server.

What is Service of Process?

Service of Process is when court documents are delivered to the individual to whom the legal document is directed. Service of Process must be served by an individual who is not a party to the case. This may mean handing the documents to the defendant personally or sub-serving to someone in the same household. Once the documents are delivered, the process serving agent must provide proof that the papers were served. This is done through a document call an Affidavit of Service, also called a Proof of Service, which must be notarized in some cases and given to the party who requested service. In Arizona and most states, someone who performs service of process is required by law to be licensed.

Even if a process server does not need to be licensed in the state where you need service, you should keep in mind that a process server is someone who is experienced in serving legal documents efficiently. More importantly, professional process servers are knowledgeable of the legislation surrounding service of process in their state or county. There are several requirements and constraints associated with serving legal documents that vary from state to state, or county to county. If the service is not performed in accordance with the law, this can hinder your case from going forward or result in the dismissal of your case.

Discount Divorce has process servers in all 50 states and in 3,140 counties. We can serve your legal documents almost anywhere in the United States.

For more information visit DiscountDivorcePro.com

What Are My Chances If I Go To Trail?

What are my chances of winning at trial? I have many clients ask me that question. I like what James J. Gross an attorney tells his clients. He quotes Hans Solo and then gives a list of obstacles that demonstrates why it is hard to answer that question intelligently.

“Never tell me the odds, Kid.” That’s what Hans Solo said to Luke Skywalker just before they flew through the asteroids in Star Wars.


First, the Code of Professional Responsibility prohibits me from giving you percentages, because each case is unique with its own set of facts.

Second, the judge weighs the testimony and credibility of the witnesses, and there is no lie detector at the bench.

Third, the judge doesn’t always get it right.

Fourth, you might win or you might lose, or it might be something in the middle. Usually there is a least one thing in the judge’s decision to feel bad about.

Fifth, my crystal ball is cloudy.

Sixth, two judges trying the same set of facts, will give different opinions.

Seventh, judges have their own filters, feelings, history and perceptions. Did the judge have an absent father and nurturing mother? Is the judge divorced and mad about having to pay alimony? Did the judge have a good breakfast or an argument with their spouse on the morning of your trial?

So your chances of winning? It all depends.

An Interesting Case: Is Drug Use Ok Prior to Visitation Acceptable?

In a recent case in the New Jersey Superior Court, Appellate Division, Case Number: A-2571-10T4, filed: December 21, 2011 declared that not all instances of drug ingestion of a parent will serve to substantiate a finding of child abuse or neglect. The court was addressing a case involving a father with supervised visitation with his daughter due to charges of assault and child abuse.

The Division of Youth and Family Services had obtained an order restricting the father's contact with his daughter to division-supervised visits. He was also ordered to attend substance abuse treatment and submit to urine testing.

At supervised visits, the father tested positive for cocaine and marijuana, and later admitted using such drugs two days prior to the visits. (The test results came back several days after the visits, which the visitation supervisor reported were uneventful, with the father acting appropriately and showing no signs of impairment.)

Finding that the father had not fully cooperated with the recommended drug treatment, the trial court held that he had exposed the 11-year-old daughter to a substantial risk of harm during the visits by testing positive for cocaine and marijuana, and concluded that the division had proven by a preponderance of the evidence that he had neglected her.
Reversing, Judge Ellen L. Koblitz accepted the trial court's factual findings, but disagreed that such behavior inherently created a substantial risk of harm to the child. The Court of Appeals noted that the Division reported that the father behaved appropriately at both supervised visits and demonstrated no indicia of impairment. Thus, the State had not demonstrated any risk, let alone one of a substantial nature, to his daughter.

“Contrary to the trial judge's conclusion, use of illegal drugs days prior to a supervised visit does not as a matter of law constitute neglect.”

“We recognize that the use of illicit drugs is illegal and that a parent should not exercise visitation, even supervised visitation, while impaired. However, Title 9 [incorporating the state child abuse statutes] is not intended to extend to all parents who imbibe illegal substances at any time. The Division would be quickly overwhelmed if law enforcement was required to report every individual under the influence who had children.”

For more information visit: DiscountDivorcePro.com

When is the Best Time to File for Divorce?

Everyone facing a divorce will wonder to some extent if it's the right time to file. I read an interesting article in the county bar’s newsletter written by an attorney, and he says that if any of the following conditions exist, you should seriously consider filing for divorce – after seeking legal advice.


1. Violence. If there has been violence directed against you or your children, you probably need to get out. You may be able to get your spouse kicked out, but you should take whatever steps are necessary for the safety of you and your kids.

2. Abandonment. If your spouse has left, that's a pretty clear signal that the marriage is over. You should file to protect yourself financially and to take care of your kids (if you have any).

3. Hiding of Assets. If you discover, or suspect, that your spouse is hiding assets from you.

4. Wasting or Disposing of Assets. If your spouse is spending money irresponsibly or getting rid of assets, you need to put a stop to it.

5. Your Gut Feeling. Sometimes you just know that the time is right. You may not be able to put your finger on a specific reason or cause, but you know it's time.

6. Counseling Doesn't Work. You've tried counseling and you just didn't get the issues resolved. Often the party not initiating counseling is resistant and won't put in the effort to make changes. It's usually a good idea to try working with a counselor, but (as you undoubtedly know) you can't make your spouse change unless he or she wants to.

7. Hiding the Kids. If this is going on, you need to act right away.

8. Alienating the Kids. This is less obvious, but you may start seeing signs if the kids suddenly start avoiding you or saying hateful things to you. You need to get into court, get the kids into counseling and get some controls over your spouse. It is very difficult to stop and undo such behavior.

9. Running Away. If your spouse has run away with the kids, you need to get into court and get an order to get the kids back. You don't want to wait and allow your spouse to establish legal residence somewhere else.

10. Spouse is About to File. If you find out your spouse is about to file for divorce, you need to decide whether to try to beat your spouse to the courthouse or just prepare for a first court hearing.

Hopefully, this list will help you think about the decision of when to file.

For more information go to DiscountDivorcePro.com

Tips for Self Representation in Court: The Objection

By: Susan Minsberg

The purpose of a deposition is to gather information, not to show off. The permissible scope of discovery is whether the information you are seeking is reasonably calculated to lead to the discovery of admissible evidence. The standard is not whether it will be admissible. Rather,can it lead to admissible evidence?

• Irrelevant. If the question may lead to admissible evidence, it is proper. If the question is so far afield, a relevance objection may be warranted.

• Hearsay. While a hearsay objection is appropriate at trial, it is not appropriate in a deposition.

For example, if you ask the deponent, “What did Jane tell you?” the answer can lead to the discovery of admissible evidence. You can determine based on the answer whether you should take Jane’s deposition and you can then ask Jane directly.

If Jane’s testimony is important, you can call Jane as a witness to testify at trial.

• Assumes facts not in evidence. Since this is not a trial, it is okay to assume facts that are not in evidence.

• Calls for an opinion. You do not need to lay foundation to determine whether the deponent is qualified to give an opinion. It is appropriate to ask for an opinion and how he or she arrived at that opinion. Those answers can lead to discoverable evidence.

• Speaking and coaching objections. The lawyer defending the deposition is not supposed to be testifying. Nor should the lawyer coach the deponent with objections.

Objections should be stated succinctly in a non-argumentative and non-suggestive manner.

Privilege. This is the big one. It must be made or it is waived. This covers any privilege such as attorney-client and physician-client. You can ask, “When you spoke with your lawyer about this case, was anyone else in the room? Who?” Based on the answer, the privilege may have been waived. Privilege is the one rare case in which a deponent should be instructed to refuse to answer.

• Form of the question. This objection is usually asserted to make a clear record. For example, if the question is compound and the person answers yes, what portion of the question are they agreeing with? A form objection should also be made to a confusing question, as well as a question that calls for the witness to speculate. Form questions are waived if they are not made during the deposition.

• Mischaracterizes earlier testimony. This is also to make sure there is a clear
record.

• Asked and answered. This is a useful objection to make sure that your client doesn’t give a different answer than was given a few hours earlier. If you don’t make the objection and your client does provide differing information, your client has obviously lost credibility.

• Harassment. If the deponent is being harassed or bullied, object. If that behavior continues, state on the record that if the specified conduct continues, you will terminate the deposition. Make sure the record will be clear to an outsider (i.e. the judge) that the witness was being harassed.

For more information visit DiscountDivorcePro.com

Consider Fairness After Divorce

By BERNEY WILKINSON

In my last column, I presented one of the most common pitfalls following a divorce. Today we will focus on another issue related to parenting following a divorce.

Last week's issue related to how much time the children spend with each parent. This often creates a great deal of strife, stress and frustration for the parents and the children. Children do not always understand they cannot do something because it would cut out "time" they would spend with their mom or dad.

In fact, when I talk with these kids, they often say "all we do is sit around the house anyway, why can't I go do something that I want to do?" The kids have a point. However, because parents are so hung up on time, they cannot see what it is doing to their children. The parents get stuck on the issue of fairness, which just so happens to be the second pitfall.

Though related to the issue of time, the issue of "fairness" often complicates life following a divorce. For parents, fairness usually includes two things: time-sharing and money. In regard to time-sharing, parents often voice the same issues discussed last week related to time. That is, the most "fair" time-sharing schedule is 50/50. While that schedule works very well for some children, it is not at all recommended for others. Many children need consistency that includes sleeping in the same bed more nights than not.

When parents are so stuck on fairness, they have difficulty seeing what is best for the child, as opposed to what is "fair" for the parent. In these situations, I remind parents of life before the divorce.

Prior to the divorce, how much time each night did each parent spend, one-on-one, with the child? Probably not a lot of time, unless they were helping him/her with homework or eating dinner together.

Most of the time, the child is playing (outside or with video games) or doing homework between the time they get home from school and preparing for bed. I have never met a parent who spends four hours of one-on-one time each night with their child. It just does not happen.

So why is it such an issue after the divorce that parents are willing to have an ongoing court battle over it that could last years? It just is not healthy for the child.

The second issue of "fairness" relates to money. As the family dynamics change, so do financial resources for the respective parents. While one parent may have the ability to take the children to Disney, the other may not. While one parent can buy the children "everything they want," the other parent may be financially limited. When these situations occur, I often hear from parents claiming, "My son's father buys him whatever he wants, and I can't. He is trying to turn my son against me." To these parents, I find myself saying, "You're right, it is not fair. But who ever said it would be?"

Nothing about these situations are fair, they just are what they are. If the father (or mother) is able to turn the son against the other parent by buying him things, work needs to be done on the parent-child relationship. But that is not necessarily the other parent's fault. Does that happen? Sure, there are times when the intent is to jade the child in one direction or another. But that is not typical.

When it comes to "fairness" after a divorce, parents must consider what is "fair" for the child. Is it "fair" the child has to split his time between his parents? Is it fair the child does not get to sleep in the same bed every night? Is it fair the child feels pulled in two directions because he wants both parents to be happy?

Parents are encouraged to consider how their personal views of fairness may affect their child (positively or negatively). What may feel fair to them may be unfair to the one who did not have a choice in the divorce.

For more information visit DiscountDivocePro.com or call 602-896-9020

Grandparents Visitation

One of the most important issues facing families these days is the issue of grandparents' rights with respect to their grandchildren. In some situations, grandparents seek to have visitation with their grandchildren and in other situations, they seek to have full custody of the children instead of the natural parents.

When a grandparent seeks visitation with a grandchild in Arizona , such a request is made pursuant to the law. In considering a request for grandparent visitation, the Court must consider if the requested visitation is in the best interests of a child. A grandparent can only request visitation if they meet one of the following three situations: if the marriage of the parents of the child has been dissolved for at least three months, if a parent of the child has been deceased or has been missing for at least three months, or the child was born out of wedlock.

In determining what amount of visitation, if any, is in a child's best interests, the court must also consider the historical relationship, if any, between the child and the person seeking visitation, the motivation of the requesting party in seeking visitation, the motivation of the person denying visitation, the quantity of visitation time requested and the potential adverse impact that visitation will have on the child's customary activities, and if one or both of the child's parents are dead, the benefit in maintaining an extended family relationship.

Under Arizona law, the family court must also apply the presumption that a fit parent acts in his or her child's best interest in decisions concerning the child's care, custody and control, including decisions concerning grandparent visitation. Therefore the court must give special weight to a fit parent's determination of whether visitation is in the child's best interest.

If a grandparent wishes to seek custody of a minor child, such a request can be filed in the family court. In order for a grandparent to be awarded custody or a minor child, the court must find that the grandparent stands in place of a parent and that the child and grandparent have formed a normal child-parent relationship, that It would be significantly detrimental to the child to remain or be placed in the custody of either of the child's living legal parents who wish to retain or obtain custody, and that the parents were not married to each other or one of them is deceased. If a person other than a child's legal parent is seeking custody there is a reputable presumption that it is in the child's best interest to award custody to a legal parent because of the physical, psychological and emotional needs of the child to be reared by the child's legal parent. To rebut this presumption that person must show by clear and convincing evidence that awarding custody to a legal parent is not in the child's best interests.

For more information visit DiscountDivorcePro.com or call 602-896-9020.

Understanding the Differences Between Sole Custody and Joint Custody

In a divorce in Arizona, the way that legal custody is structured will ultimately have a significant impact on how future decisions affecting children will be made. Physical custody impacts where the child will live. Legal custody impacts day-to-day decisions such as health care, religion, education and other major issues. Custody arrangements may also impact visitation rights, child support and other matters.

Understanding the differences between sole custody and joint custody is important for parents going through a divorce or family law matter.

The concept of joint legal custody does not necessarily imply that the time spent with each parent will be equal, but it does mean that parents will consult with one another on important issues pertaining to their children. Parents with joint custody are encouraged to resolve disagreements amicably but may also petition the court to make a decision that is in the best interests of the child when agreement is not possible.

Since the courts in Arizona prefer that both parents have a relationship with their children, sole custody is much rarer than joint custody. When one parent is considered unfit, however, sole custody may be the best solution for the child. Sole custody does not automatically limit visitation rights, but the sole custodial parent is allowed to make the ultimate decisions on many issues even over the objection of the non-custodial parent.

For more information visit discountdivorcepro.com or call 602-896-9020 and speak with a paralegal.

Process Serving in Mexico: Do it Right the First Time

A default order entered against a Mexican father in his ex-wife's action under the Hague Convention on child abduction for the return of their child to Texas is void, where she did not effect proper service of process on him in Mexico. Finding that the mother was required to serve the father in accordance with the Hague Convention on Service of Process Abroad, the court determined that she had failed to serve him either through Mexico's Central Authority or in compliance with the internal law of Mexico regarding service of documents from abroad, as mandated by the Service Convention.

The father filed a special appearance, contending that the order was void because the mother had failed to show proper service of process on him. She acknowledged that he was not served through Mexico's Central Authority, as required by The Hague Service Convention, but argued that he had been served in accordance with the internal laws of Mexico, which allow for service on a party's designated agent.

The Judge held that for the mother to establish that service on the father complied with Article 19 (of the Hague Convention on the Service Abroad of Judicial and Extra-Judicial Documents), she was required to show that the service she employed complied with the internal law of Mexico providing for service of documents coming from abroad.


In re J.P.L. Texas Court of Appeals Case Number: No. 04-10-00646-CV Date Filed: 11/23/11

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Gambling and Dirty Underwear Lead to Divorce

I came across an interesting case out of a court in Mississippi and thought I would share. Husband's conduct constituted habitual cruelty as ground for divorce; husband committed intentional, often dishonest, and possibly criminal acts, through which he dissipated the parties' assets to fund his gambling addiction, and his sexual and personal hygiene issues rendered the relationship revolting to wife.

The Court found that Husband‘s behavior taken as a whole, constitutes habitual cruelty. His qualifying conduct includes not only his gambling losses of over $300,000, but his series of intentional, often dishonest, and possibly criminal acts, through which he dissipated the parties‘ assets to fund his gambling addiction.

Further, the Court found that his sexual and personal-hygiene issues rendered the relationship ―revolting. Wife testified Husband had ―loose bowels and would often get into bed with her wearing soiled underwear. Wife claimed Husband ―refused to wash, clean up. And this was at least five times a week most weeks. Even after Wife laid out clean underwear for Husband, he refused to change out of his soiled ones. Wife explained the odor was so revolting to her that she frequently slept in a separate room.

Husband also claimed that since Wife accompanied him to the casino about six times, she condoned the vast majority of his substantial gambling debt. However, the Court did not find his argument compelling.

Better keep track of those deposits and withdrawals

In a marital dissolution proceeding to divide community property, where the non-managing spouse has prima facie evidence that community assets of a certain value have disappeared while in the control of the managing spouse post-separation, the managing spouse has the burden of proof to account for the missing assets.

Husband and wife separated after a 33-year marriage and, for 12 post-separation years,continued to handle their joint finances as before: Husband had complete control of substantial community investment accounts and paid all the bills; wife trusted him to manage their finances for their mutual benefit. Just before trial, however, husband disclosed for the first time that the once-brimming investment accounts were virtually empty. Without any corroborating evidence, he attributed the dissipation of account values to proper expenditures and stock market losses.

At trial, wife argued the court should charge husband with the missing funds unless he proved he did not misappropriate the money. The Court of Appeals agreed.

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Military Divorce

I wouldn’t say that military divorce is more complicated. It is different with it’s own unique rules regarding division of military pensions, residency requirements for filing for divorce, certain legal protections for the military member and emergency court orders pertaining to child support. Once you become familiar with the rules and federal laws that apply during a military divorce the divorce process is pretty straightforward.

Service members Civil Relief Act:
Military members have legal protection from divorce proceedings that are not established for civilians. Under the Service Members Civil Relief Act military members are protected from lawsuits including divorce proceedings so they can “devote their entire energy to the defense needs of the Nation.” A court can delay legal proceedings for the time that the service member is on active duty and for up to 60 day following active duty.

Jurisdiction of the court:

If the spouse of a military member seeks a divorce, the activity duty spouse must be served with a petition for divorce in order for a state court to have jurisdiction over the military member. If the activity duty spouse is serving overseas or deployed in time of war it may be requested that military authorities serve the activity duty member. The active duty member can refuse to accept the service and if this happens you may request the court serve the member. This can complicate the divorce process because not many courts are going to send someone a long distance to serve a military member. So, if your spouse is deployed or serving overseas you may have to wait until they return to the area to start the process.

Residency and Filing Requirements:

Many states will allow a military member or their spouse to file for divorce in the state the military member is stationed. It would not matter if neither is a legal resident of the state. Military members and their spouses have three choices when it comes to which state to file for divorce.

•State where the spouse filing resides.
•State where the military member is stationed.
•State where the military member claims legal residency.

Whichever state they file in the grounds for divorce, property distribution, child custody and child support issues are governed by the laws of the state where the divorce petition is filed.

Division of property:

Division of most marital property and assets is dependent on the laws of the state in which the petition for divorce is filed. Military pension is different and is governed by the Uniformed Services Former Spousal Protection Act. The USFSPA authorizes direct payment of a portion of a military retirees pay to the former spouse and extends some base privileges to certain former spouses.

The USFSPA allows state courts to treat disposable retired pay either as property solely of the military member or as property of the member and his spouse in accordance with the laws of the state court. The USFSPA does not contain a formula for calculating the appropriate division of retired pay. Although up to 50% of a military member’s retired pay may be awarded, it is the state laws that will determine the exact division of the retired pay and most state courts have a formula for calculating division of military pay.

It is important to understand that the USFSPA does not mean that just because you are married to a military member, you will get a portion of his retirement. Splitting of military retirement pay is not mandated by the USFSPA. If you are awarded a portion of the military member’s retired pay is up to the courts and they will treat it just like property or benefits in a civilian divorce. Also, your divorce decree must read that you were given a portion of the retirement and it must be written as a percentage.

For example, if you were married to a military member for 10 years the courts may decided you are entitled to 1/3 of the military retirement. It must state in your decree that you have been awarded 33% of the spouses retired pay. Defense Finance and Accounting (DFAS) has very strict rules when it comes to the wording of a divorce decree. You would be wise to notify DFAS and familiarize yourself with those rules and regulations.

Former Spouse’s Military Benefits:

Under the USFSPA a former military spouse is eligible for full medical, commissary and exchange privileges when the following apply to the marriage.

•The marriage last at least 20 years.
•The military member performed at least 20 years of service creditable for retired pay.
•There was at least a 20 overlap of the marriage and the military services.

If the spouse remarries, eligibility for benefits is terminated. The benefits are revived if the subsequent marriage ends in divorce.

Child Support:

All military members have a duty to provide support for their children, as well as their spouses, so their wages may be garnished in order to ensure the payment of proper support. Child support may not exceed 60% of a military member’s pay and allowances. Unlike a civilian divorce, if you divorce a member of the military and they do not follow court orders pertaining to child support, you can go to their commanding officer for him. It is like having extra added protection against a deadbeat parent.

For more information consult an attorney or visit DiscountDivorcePro.com

Immigration and Decision to Divorce

Although the holiday season is generally a happy period, it is also a time when individuals start reflecting on the state of their personal relationships. In fact, law firms experience a surge in divorce work during this period.

Deciding whether or not to divorce your spouse is a complicated and emotional process in and of itself. The process becomes even more complicated if the decision affects your immigration status in the United States.

The following paragraphs highlights how the decision of whether or not to divorce becomes even more complicated if an individual received his or her resident card as a result of a petition filed by their spouse.

The first instance in which your immigration status becomes an important consideration in the divorce process is when you received your resident card as a result of a petition filed by your spouse, and you have not yet celebrated your two-year anniversary at the time of the petition's approval. You will note that at the time of the adjustment interview, the interviewing officer advised you and your spouse that your resident card was only valid for two years.

The interviewing officer also said you are required to file a petition in order to remove the conditions on your resident card. This is because your marriage is subject to the Marriage Fraud Act, which was enacted to discourage marriage solely to obtain immigration benefits.

Ideally, in order to remove the conditions on your residency, you and your spouse should file a joint petition before your resident card expiration. At this time, you are required to submit evidence about your marriage that you have accumulated since your petition's approval.

However, should you and your spouse divorce prior to your card's expiration, you are able to file a petition removing the conditions on your residency. Because of your divorce, you have to submit additional evidence regarding your relationship and the circumstances of your divorce. In addition to submitting evidence about your marriage, you should also submit evidence that you had intended into entering a bonafide and genuine relationship. Notwithstanding such intentions, your relationship did not work out.

If you were abused or mistreated, you should submit evidence demonstrating such.

The second instance in which your immigration status becomes an important consideration is during the naturalization process.

A divorce will not preclude you from becoming a citizen, but it may take you longer to qualify for naturalization. Generally, a naturalization applicant should be a resident cardholder for a period of five years in order to qualify for naturalization. However, if you received your resident card based on a petition filed by your United States citizen spouse and you are still married to and reside with that same spouse, then the waiting period is reduced to only three years.

Divorcing your spouse before filing your application or during the naturalization application process can affect your ability to take advantage of that reduced three-year period.

In sum, because divorce may have implications on your immigration status, most immigration attorneys would always advise you to marry foremost because you love that individual. Your immigration status should not be the main consideration. If you follow this rule, then a divorce later down the line should not have that significant impact on your status.

Your individual case, may contain facts that may potentially change the outcome of your case. A consultation with an experienced immigration attorney will provide you with a more comprehensive assessment of your case.

For more information contact an attorney or visit DiscountDivorcePro.com